I am experiencing something of a rock bottom. Well I would rather phrase that in a more positive way, but in addition to focusing on the positive changes that I plan to make, I need to realize the hole I have dug myself into and the steps that brought me there. Since my move my weight has creeped up and I have gained about 15lbs since the summer (and I have probably rounded that up to an even 20 with the holidays but I am not getting near a scale until I have done some work). I have a million excuses that I make to myself, it’s not that bad, I’m going through a breakup, I’ll start tomorrow, just one more time, I’m tired, It’s OK it’s the weekend, etc.
But now I am stuck here with a big belly, low energy and feeling pretty crappy about the whole thing. I am not going to wallow in things at this point, but I am going to take action and get myself back to where I want to be, to where I am really myself.
I started this morning by walking to work, it is a brisk 15-20 min walk and I will repeat it for the way home. I am also having a Vega smoothie with fruit for breakfast. I plan to drink a lot of water and tea today as well.
I have not written a gratitude post in a long time, well that is because I haven’t written anything in a long time. However, I haven’t forgotten to be grateful for the many things that I have. I came back on here to complete another book review but felt that I needed to write this first. Today on Facebook I saw a post reading “Happiness will never come to those who don’t appreciate what they already have.” I could not put it better myself.
So at this point in time I have so many things to be grateful for and that is my #1 thing that I will be grateful for today. Some days you get boggled down in the muck and you have to think hard for something to be thankful for but today my cup runneth over.
I have been MIA for several months because things went crazy but mostly in a positive way, never fear. This summer saw me doing a ton of hiking, and even a couple of backpacking trips. I recommitted to my health and wellness goals and have been back logging on MFP and hitting the gym on top of my outdoor workouts. I purchased a new fitbit which is keeping me very motivated as well. I am always open to more friends on either of those sites so feel free to add me if you like.
Also this summer I helped organize and promote Veg Fest Vancouver which is an annual Vegan street festival. I had a great time doing that and it was great to get to know more of the local vegan community.
This fall has already been amazing. John took me on an incredible trip to Jamaica and planning for it was very exciting and also motivating since I knew there would be bikiini pics (overall I am happy with the way I looked in the photos which is not how I normally feel but I am working towards more positivity and acceptance, I have a bit of work to do but I am happy with where I am today as well.)
Things are really looking up it seems. I am 13 days into clean eating and with only minor cheats I have stuck to my goals. Sunday we did a beach day and I was feeling that I had too many “can’ts” in my life so I decided to have a bit of a treat and I had caramel vodka in the fridge which my man helpfully suggested would go really well with Zevia rootbeer (sweetened with stevia) and he was SOOOO right 😉 I only had two drinks and didn’t let that derail my eating the rest of the day. The beach was fun, a bit chilly here still though, but I did bust out the bikini for a bit because I am trying to be more comfortable with my body no matter what my size may be.
TGIF everyone!! Even though it is raining here is Surrey BC I am still feeling really great due to my eating clean and re-commitment to my health and wellness. I haven’t written a gratitude post in some time and I thought of a great one as I was walking home from the skytrain station last night with my man. I was telling him that I was really happy that I had written a blog post since it had been a while and I was pleased to get likes and new followers. It really helps motivate me that people are reading my ramblings and it keeps me motivated to carry on.
So again I have lapsed in my blogging but these things do happen. I would really like to write more as it really does motivate me and keep me accountable. I also have a few book reviews to write for my CBR community but those will have to wait a bit longer as my work situation is still very stressful. I am trying to read more books as well as I really do enjoy reading, but I find myself mentally drained a lot of the time. But I think work is not totally responsible for that, and that brings me to the main reason for today’s post.
Without getting into too much detail, the past month has been extra stressful at work so although I was doing well with my health and wellness, I did fall back down the rabbit hole and ate very poorly and did not exercise much at all. The result of that was a depression that I am pleased to say I have nipped in the bud by recognizing it early and taking steps that I knew would correct it.
What my partner and I decided to do was to have June be a reboot, an opportunity to refocus on our goals and get back to where we both want to be. He has his own goals which are similar to mine but it is great that we can both be doing this together to support each other.
There is really no way for me to catch up on all of my fitness for the past almost 3 months. As I stated in an earlier post, things became extremely hectic at work and things became incredibly stressful for me so blogging was one of the casualties in that war. The good news is that I still managed to maintain a decent level of exercise during that time and although I haven’t really lost weight, I have increased my fitness and I am very proud. I do have a progress picture to share, the one on the right was taken in October 2012 and I reported the weight at 180 but I might have been a bit higher and in denial, and the one on the right is 170.
For the past few years I have taken part in a reading challenge called Cannonball Read. I had the goal of reading 52 books in a year and last year on my third try I finally achieved this goal. I did really enjoy the community and all the reading and writing of reviews so I decided to keep going, but not to really have a set goal in mind as this year I am focusing more on my health and fitness goals. Here we are and it is almost May and I haven’t even posted a single review. I have read a few books but I haven’t made the time to post any reviews so I am going to make that happen today. I had a blog exclusively for book reviews but since I won’t be doing as many this year I decided to move them over here. The first book is actually quite appropriate with the theme of my blog, but I won’t be exclusively reading health and wellness books, there will be fiction and various other non-fiction books as well.
I decided to read “Crazy Sexy Diet” by Kris Carr after seeing her in the documentary “Hungry for Change“. I was very motivated at the start of the year to learn more about eating clean and plant based diets so naturally reading this book really appealed to me. Overall I really enjoyed this read and it helped me stay focused on my goals at a time where I needed the help. There are some things in this book that I would prefer not to follow (like giving myself an enema) but to each their own I suppose.
Today I am grateful for the man in my life. We have been together over 4 years and although nothing is perfect, we really have something great together.
Two years ago I decided to become a vegetarian and I have gotten nothing but support from him. He is making his own strides towards a meat free life as well and is always the first person that I go to with a new recipe or health fact. We sometimes have debates about these things (about most things really) but there is nothing like having someone to discuss things from all angles.